Bike Porn Industries has been haunted by the ghost of irony. In order to provide the bike-sex starved people of this land with the goods we have to travel.
You might remember our stance on DVDs. It is mostly ethical with a sprinkling of other, less glamorous reasons. But regardless without DVDs we have to travel to the places we are screening. (plus we got live performances up in this jimmy! Live dancing booty… with bikes!)
But how do we get around? There are many options and bicycling, while a pretty great option for a lot of things, seems unreasonable. If we were to do another bike tour we could probably travel around 50 miles a day on average. We are traveling more than 10,000 miles on this next tour… it seems this 4 month tour would take ~ 30 weeks. THAT WOULD BE AWESOME! Well maybe we dont have to finish this article… maybe we could be bike pornographers that actually ride their bikes to work.
…
Well that dream ended fast.
Anyway, the other options include trains, which are sweet but regardless of if you pay to ride or just hop on a freight it can only go where the track goes.
Flying would be swell if we had no conscious at all… and we were bankrolled.
Hitchhiking and Ride Shares are useful but not flexible or reliable.
We think we need a new #&$!ing car, and not just a machiene engaged in passionate love making, but a new (to us, cause it is def gonna be used) car.
So the hunt is on, and consequently the demand for our own “Optimus Prime”, a 1992 Ford Taurus SupperHighOutput aka “the Fo SHO” is going on the internet chopping block.
Buying the 1st and hereto only car used to transport bike pornographers could be the greatest ironic piece of magical indemnity against being a planet raper (what some folks in Ft Collins refer to driving as).
Your opportunity to get the “bike porn green wash” is neigh! Buy the FoSHO today! Consider it a indulgency against the pain and suffering your automobile is sure to cause to others in the future.
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