Berlin’s Porno Chopper

Breaking news: Berlin’s best chopper was stolen today!

Just last night following a screening of Pippi Longstocking at the Kopi squat in Berlin the massive chopper known only as, “The Chopper” was stolen. The lock was found broken where the bike was left last night.

Any stolen bike is a terrible thing and while we would love to be able to post news about every stolen bicycle, we dont have the resources to even keep up with posting about our own hecktic tour schedule. But this is different, not only is it a magnificent chopper, with glorious ape-hanging body positioning, detailed welds and decked out with actually valuable bike parts, but in this case the bike was actually a porn star.

Where will this package rest now?!?

The bike and rider (or cycle and cyclist if you are feeling more PC about the “use relationship of bikes”) were planning to attend the final screening of the also massive, 6-month Bike Smut European Tour in Berlin this Thursday.

Moreover, the owner and creator of The Chopper is finally able to view his package being delivered as he appears in this screening! The premiere of their own bike porn movie that had just been shot in Berlin two months earlier and was just edited in time for this show.

To combine the sweet satisfaction of witnessing a room full of sexy bikers appreciating your best pedal strokes with the gut wrenching notion that some thieving bastard may be riding around on your baby is horrific!

We are hoping to avoid that pain and provide that joy! You can help by taking note of interesting bicycles and telling a friend who lives in Berlin.

The Screening is to be quite the gala smutty affair, with the biggest names of the post-porn world coming together to appreciate grace, liberty, and hot fucking bikes. (ideally ones that are no hot because they were stolen)

Moreover, we have just confirmed our friend and orgasmatic machine, Mad Kate, (of “Too Much Pussy” fame) who promises to bring her impressive gyrating skills with a new porn bike of her own!

Thursday 27 October
Loophole
Boddinstr. 60
9pm

But it is all so bittersweet.  Please keep your eyes open for this bike. If returned you will be granted discreet bike sexual favors, plus free bicycle maintenance and instruction every Friday afternoon for a year!

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