Bike porn quantitative research report

There’s something about Italian cocks.

As soon as our miniature rabble breached the borders of Italy and commenced our pornographic depredations, our Bike Smut merchandise table experienced an entirely unprecedented swarming by condom-hungry Italians. They have far exceeded anything we have ever experienced. Now that we’ve been to nearly every country in Europe, it’s time to hand the Italians their trophy in recognition of the sheer excessiveness of their rubber demand. Italy has officially won 1st prize for condom consumption in Europe! Congratulations, Italy! Be proud!

But we suspect that the reason lies not with the specific nature of Italian cocks and their desires for fall rubber fashion. It probably has more to do with the specific nature of the Italian government. With the conservatism of Berlusconi and the influence of the Catholic Church, Italians do not have access to the plentiful supplies of free birth control that most other Europeans have come to rely upon, thus giving them greater practical reason to shell out a coin for our brilliant Bike Smut condoms. Which, may we add, are great. They do have supper enhanced bicycle sexiness, are as strong as a bike patch, and have recently made an appearance in Berlin’s first bike porn film. Even if you are not Italian and have a weekly gift bag from Planned Parenthood delivered to your door, you should definitely check them out at your next Bike Smut show.

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