Bikes Kill Old Porn – part I

Regular readers know our opinions about bikes and sex. In our mind they are the peanut butter and chocolate of our generation. A taste combination so pleasureful that we have been debating casting for our own version of “Willy Wanker and the Chocolate Factory”

But A recent turn of events from Denmark has made our pedal pumping seize.

According to THE INTERNET (pft) the oldest porn store in the world is liquidating its stock and closing its doors forever.

What is the dastardly thing that is the cause of this turn of events?

BIKE LANES!

According to the shop owner, it’s the effect of the recession, increasing shop rents and bicycle lanes that have influenced the company’s financial downturn the most.

This is the big one people. This is what we have been training for. This is why we have a stockpile of interns. Expect more on this story as it develops including scathingly unimportant investigative journalism and vastly overreaching summarizations.

Stay tuned…