Getting Lyrical in FoCo

The fine folks at the Lyric Cinema Cafe in  Ft. Collins were motivated to write a story about what it means to be “adult”

As a public venue, we get a lot of strange encounters on a pretty regular basis.  A few years ago we had an especially colorful character came in seeking out an enjoyable movie-going experience.  He was an elder man, with no more than four or five teeth in his mouth (the rest must have been around somewhere), rainbow striped suspenders (ala Mork), an Elmo t-shirt, large glasses about as thick as my thumb and a ball cap with extra long bill, I’m sure for added effect.  He was very nice, but clearly indifferent to which movie he wanted to see.  So I steered him in the direction of “Let The Right One In”, which he seemed to think was a suitable title, and headed into the wrong theater.  He seemed eager to see anything, so I didn’t bother to re-direct him.

After about ten minutes he came back out and asked in a wet gummy drawl what was playing in the theater he had just exited.  I said it was “Two Lovers” to which he looked at me and the customer I was talking to at the time with a toothless sneer of confusion and headed to the other theater.  He switched theaters two or three times before he decided the bathroom was a far superior sitting area for 10 minutes.  When he finally came out, and in his thick tongued accent asked what “I’ve Loved You So Long” was about, I thought another tooth was going to fall out in disappointment when I told him it was a french drama.  “So, are you guys an adult theater then?” he asked.  To which the customer I was conversing with went beat red, holding back his laughter. “We play movies for adults, yes.” I answered. “No, I mean ADULT.”  I kept playing dumb for a bit until he spat out what he was getting at….literally.  And that, my friends is why these theaters don’t exist anymore….UNTIL NOW!  This weekend we are bringing smut back to the large-ish screen with BIKE PORN.  So bring an extra box of kleenex and a poncho, we’ll get extra mop heads and have a great time!

 We are bringing the joy to our last show in Colorado tomorrow! Then it is on to Bozeman, MT!! w00t!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

*