Helping the Bikesexual Industry PART THREE

In the 1st installment we went international, pimping some Japanese Calendars. This time we bring you some hotness closer to home (assuming you live in Cascadia).

This past year the Portland Mercury challenged the PDX hipster population to create porn. Claiming to be the “first and only amateur porn festival in Portland” (ahem) for weeks they used guile, prizes celebrities and threatening remaks about how Seattle could be cooler because they have had an amateur porn festival for a few years (double ahem). Thus the harassed readers were motivated into creating some really good stuff (so we were told, they scheduled the screening during the Chain Whip Tour). In fact according to unbiased sources it was one of our Bike Porn movies that premiered four months earlier stole the show.

Being “the biggest, baddest, bestest” sure sounds good. Too bad they rarely are accused of being through, or even accurate for that matter, but one thing they do right is have great ethics, or at least they say they do:

NEW TO HUMP!? HUMP! is safe, fun, and anonymous. People make films and give them to us; we make only two screening copies and return the originals. Our only copies are destroyed live onstage after the final screening. We’ve hosted DOZENS and DOZENS of HUMP! screenings over the last four years, with ZERO leaks! HUMP! lets you be a porn star for a weekend—not for life! And HUMP! films do not have to be hardcore. Animation, instructional videos, mechanical dogs, and sexy, nonexplicit shorts have all been featured in HUMP!

They destroy a digital copy on stage. They say it is the only copy. And the masses believe it. And it could be true! We don’t have proof to the contrary except that people who organize porn festivals are often packrat like in their hoarding of content.

So It might only be a promotional gimmick, but the proof is in the pudding. They say if you can’t find it online there is a good chance that it doesn’t exist. And although their festival is still dozens and dozens of screenings behind ours we are glad that they ALSO not had any anal leaks (that we know of). So that is worth encouraging and pimping. Huzza!

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