Touring Porn Stars Need Your Help

ZOWIE! Only Two weeks until we head off on the next great bike porn adventure,

THE BACKLASH TOUR

Did we mention we are setting up 50 shows in 100 days? Not like “one hundred days from now we have to start working on this.” No we have to play a show ever other night for 3 months. Who on earth will be willing to join us?

Moreover just booking all these shows is pretty insane. Seriously, touring musical bands have nothing on us. Bands probably have more equipment, but for every new filmmaker that is born there is a theater that dies, or at least it feels that way. And while almost any home can be converted into a space where a few dozen people stand and bop their heads… there are just not many micotheaters out there.

Since we are busting our collective reproductive organs to bring you the greatest collection of sexually charged bicycle video the world has ever known we figured it would be nice for you to help us find the right place to show Bike Porn.

So if you want the Bike Porn Tour to come to your town here are the questions we’d like you to consider

  • Do you have any contacts at the various college/universities? Student clubs can request funds, pay us directly (in the biz they call it a “guarantee”) and have a theater space set up with the A/V dialed in! Choice!
  • How many seats do they have? What is their seating capacity? (For example, a music venues usually don’t have more than a couple dozen chairs)
  • What are the audience’s distractions while watching a 90min movie? Light and noise pollution should be considered. Some places have live music in the adjacent room, or at a club next door, for example. It doesn’t have to be absolutely dark and quiet, but make sure you have made those considerations.
  • Do they have speakers, amps, a receiver, projector and cables in the room or will we have to set that up? We carry some of this equipment but setting up can be a challenge. FYI we usually use a miniDV deck with composite RCA (yellow, red, white) cables.
  • Does the venue have an stage area in front of the screen that we can use for the live performances? There is singing and dancing and you will love it!
  • How committed is the venue to bikes and sex? How about their patrons? Would they be willing to send out an announcement to help pimp it?
  • What costs are there? Rental? Split? Donation? How will we collect funds?
  • After the show where can we crash? There are usually 3-6 sexy bikers who need to sleep sometimes. Help us avoid dying in a flaming auto collision. We aren’t some touring band ya know. (nothing against touring bands who want to die in a flaming car wreck, its just not our scene)

If you have thought of all that and want us to come to your city email bikesmut@gmail.com and let us know you got this. Eventually we will ask you to have this info:

  • Date
  • Venue Name
  • Venue Address
  • Time
  • Cost of Admission
  • Age Restriction (+18? +21?)
  • Additional Info (e.g. “bike ride to venue leaving from X-place at Y-time”)

When you complete this kit and confirm with us we will send you a flier of your very own! Tell all your friends! Be the 1st kid on your block to host Bike Porn 3: Cycle Bound. Get your parents permission… it’s fun to watch their expression!

Okay that should cover it. We are very grateful for your help. You can now see why we need great people in every city we play.

2 comments on “Touring Porn Stars Need Your Help
  1. Anonymous says:

    heres a great venue you should look into: http://www.hallwalls.org
    i’d love to see you in buffalo! I’m sure youd get a good reception, but idk about guaranteed pay!

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