Well then, maybe

So Donald questestions the typical methods

However, I’m going to start in a somewhat unorthodox manner, and tell you that the bike doesn’t have a name, and possibly never will. Furthermore, I don’t really think of it as a “she”, and I’m intentionally avoiding the words “bike porn” to describe these pictures – because honestly, I’ve never understood the rationale behind that phrase.

Here’s what I don’t get: when most guys get a bike, they do the following: 1) assign it a gender (usually female), 2) give it a name, and then 3) put pictures of it on the Internet and call it bike porn. But using that logic, wouldn’t this be the equivalent of some photographer posting pictures of his girlfriend or daughter on a sleazy adult website? As far as analogies go, this one has always seemed pretty messed up to me.

That’s why I’m calling these pictures a photo essay – because I respect this bike. I want a relationship with this bike. And if I ever decide to do bike porn, I’ll just go find some abandoned bike on the street, spend a little money to clean it up and make it more attractive, then produce videos of different guys riding it each month, and charge you $12.95 to watch. So there.

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